Haphephobia
by Szept
Summary: Elsa have gained control of her power. Anna has finally made friends outside of those in her head. But by no means does it mean a happy ending for both their tortured minds. Elsanna.
1. Chapter 1

"Anna!"

Elsa scrambles to her feet in a panic induced hurry, She hasn't died, She is alive, right beside her, she... but... all her thoughts halt when she faces her frozen sister. Indescribable sorrow is coursing through her, she reaches out to Anna's face as if to caress it, but she can't. Not after so many years, not after last couple of days. Instead she slumps to the ice, her breath ragged, she feels she's choking.

"No... no-please." She breaks down in tears, her entire body shaking. Her chest so tightly compressed that it hurts. This isn't real, this can't be real it will all... it will nothing! She killed her sister. She encased her lovely sister in ice. She's dead and it's your fault! All this because you couldn't-contain yourself! Keep distance!

The silence the world has fallen into is only broken by heart wrenching sobs.

She turns her eyes towards Olaf when he gasps and she feels her heart elevate and knees change into jelly when the frost gives away to reveal perfectly healthy, perfectly alive-

perfectly not ice statue she made Her into.

She swallows, stands up and goes completely rigid when Anna embraces her. She feels as if her skin is crawling, like she is about to loose herself and lash out. No, no! Not again! She can't let this happen again, she couldn't take it anymore. If she were to loose her sister for good, what would she be? Who would she have? A kingdom of ice statues? A city of frozen infants? God, she knows she could never get over her sorro-nonono!Get away!Get away!

She pulls back, sharply, and sees worry in Anna's eyes. Poor Anna. To have such a monster for sister. She feels weak and dizzy when her sibling does not let go of her hands. Oh how she wants to hold these hands in hers, to caress and kiss them. But she can't. Instead she moves two steps away and after calming her ragged breathing asks with quivering voice.

"You sacrificed yourself for me?" But I hurt you, killed you. Why would you?

"I love you." Her eyes still shine with concern.

Elsa feels her heart flutter. She loves her too, of course she does. She was the only one who really remembered her, even though it was not really her. She knows their parents loved her too but they never bothered. Yet her sister, her sweet little sister never gave up. She came by every day even when years have passed and invited her to build a snowman with her friends. In the middle of the summer. There were no friends either.

Elsa cried herself to sleep countless times.

But none of that, for now she has to fix this, all of this. Lest people of Arendelle freeze to death, and not in magical, redeemable fashion. She can't do that to Anna, she can't do that to herself. Think Elsa. What can undo this cold, she looks at her sister face again.

"Of course." She whispers to herself. Olaf is right. Love, it's love. She can do this, she can and she will. She closes her eyes and focus. Love. Of what... whom should she think? What a stupid question, there is but one person she loves, who she would do anything for. Elsa closes her eyes and sees. Her warm smile, Her trusting eyes, filled with such unconditional trust and love that she could just loose herself in them. The clumsy manner She acts, the awkward way She speaks. The adorable blush when She's embarrassed, Her eyes shifting from point to point when that happens. Her beautiful figure, smooth, shining hair and wide green eyes. And she can feel warmth. She can feel-

her delicate hands brushing against her skin. Cold.

She shudders in repulsion and stops abruptly, no, better not go there, better stop. Now.

The queen snaps her eyes open and looks around. The snow is melting, good. Slowly, but that is close enough, better not go there again, not now, later maybe, yes. Anna happily spins in circles, her tattered bag in which Elsa knows her sister's stuffed bunny resides, spinning with her, taking in everything happening. The sun, bright blue sky, in lack of blizzard. She moves to grab Elsa's hands but pauses at the frantic look in the older girl's eyes. There is hurt in Anna's own, but also understanding and promise of not ever giving up.

The older sister takes another step back and gives her beloved sibling what she knows is the most beautiful and inviting smile she has mustered in... ever since she first hurt Anna. She wishes she could simply hug her but she knows better than that, one day, she hopes she will touch Anna without fear swelling in her heart, without overwhelming urge to jump away, with her heart not going into overdrive.

She hopes for great many things, she muses, as the younger of two girls happily rambles on how "it's okay now" to her snow white rabbit which she just took out from her bag. Snowflake, the name is, she remembers. She casts her eyes upon Hans, who is slowly getting up from the now moist ice. They better move to the ground if they don't wish to soak their shoes. Anger courses through her as she sees the snarl on prince's face. Kristoff notices him too and is about to go and most likely beat the bastard to a bloody pulp when Anna stops him. The queen smiles as she sees her sister knocking him out. The ice is melting faster.

"We should move off the lake, the ice will crack soon" she think so at least "Sven, could you be so kind as to carry the prince?" The prince part comes off as one normally would talk about vermin, good, she intended it so.

"This is the greatest day of my life." Her eyes shift to Olaf and sees him looking at the world witch such wonder in his eyes that she wants to pull him into a hug. But she won't, while she is not afraid of touching someone made out of snow, her sister is likely not to notice the difference. She doesn't want to upset her any more than she is bound to. Wait, he is slowly melting too. Oh that just won't do, she points her finger at the snowman and casts a spell. Isn't he just adorable? She thinks as he proceeds to excitedly try to jump and touch the snowing cloud.

Anna is looking at her. Her stuffed toy back in it's bag. She hopes that her scatterbrained sibling won't try to touch her again, not because of her own dislike of touch. It's for she doesn't wish to see the hurt look on Her face when she inevitably freaks out. So she moves first and stands closer to her than she is really comfortable with, Anna knows that too. She smiles radiantly. Elsa simply inclines her head in direction of the city and says.

"Lets go home." Anna nods, her grin never leaving her oh so beautiful face and turns to move. Elsa feels she needs to say something, like she is about to miss good moment to do so.

"Anna." She stops and looks at her older sibling, question in eyes.

"I love you too."

There, she said it. She should have long ago, before her sister began carrying that damned bunny around.

If Anna's face was joyful a moment ago, it's positively ecstatic now. She reaches out and grabs her sister's sleeve, then gives it a meaningful tug. Elsa forces herself to ignore the distressing feeling she got and runs after her laughing sister. She can do it, for Her, it's just a sleeve, just a sleeve.

It's just a sleeve and she can do it. For Her.

Just a sleeve, just a sleeve, just a sleeve.

* * *

Welp, share your thoughts people. It will help me greatly in completing this story.


	2. Chapter 2

Elsa stares at the melting snow from her study's balcony. She messed up her spell and she knows it, there is no magical spring all around, no. The scenery is one of the land after particularly mean winter. With the exception of nature being dead, not waking up... yet... hopefully. Grass is not dirty old green, it's brown and rotting, trees seem to have survived sudden climate change. Thank goodness, but the queen does not believe she will smell anymore flowers this year. Unless she decides to ship them from abroad, which she won't. Crops are dead too. Her first priority is to assure survival of her kingdom and it's people. Hans actually set some ground ideas for that when she was... away. He did expect the winter to destroy the land it seems, without her to magically call it off. Hah! She can't do it either way it seems.

Problem is, Arendelle was only halfway through the harvest when she made a mess of it. Likewise, no cloth can be produced because of that. Or not too much, she has ministers for this kind of thing that know about itmore than she does. And they say that the kingdom will be dependent on trade for at least a year, if there are no further- incidents, that is. That last part is always added with them looking vaguely uncomfortable, wary, as if she was to curse them into ice. It may be for the best though, if their fear discourages people from approaching her, and her sister does not fear her. That is enough.

As to their supply problem. She talked it over with Kai and came up with two plans, both possible, both sketchy. First off is fact that they currently hold thirteenth prince of The Southern Isles as a hostage, that in itself is of no consequence, for his father is highly unlikely to care for him enough to pay for his release. No. What matters is that Hans has committed a crime against foreign monarch, or attempted and planned to, which is the same. Elsa is told that the king is an honorable man, thus, he will likely want to enact punishment on his son, and MAY feel honor bound to recompense Elsa. So she will send him his wayward son and ask for help.

She will not even bring Anna up in her letter to him. It pains the queen to say it but she did let herself be fooled by Hans and it is her fault. Elsa's too, in a way, not directly but her sibling suffers because of her and she knows it. Only possible way to gain from that would be to play the pity card. Anna does have a... reputation, after all. And manipulating the... slightly... unhinged princess into marriage is certainly despicable act which could possibly sway the other ruler to her cause.

But she won't use Her like that, no. She will not shred what little dignity among rulers Anna has left. That would be the most disgusting act of all.

There is also the other plan. She is called Rapunzel and they have already discussed the situation in Arendelle. Apparently, the harvest in Corona is quite plentiful and price on the crops is lower this year, good. But it's no trade agreement. It means that merchants will arrive in the kingdom anyway but Elsa worries about prices and if her subjects will be able to pay for what they need. Outrageous prices are bound to surface in December at latest, Christmas and all. So she asked for help, she might came off as- well, cold, which is unfortunate but she and Rapunzel don't really know each other. Elsa isn't used to strangers. It doesn't help that her parents died on way to her and Eugene's wedding. She feels cold even thinking about it.

Thankfully, the other girl seems kind-hearted and agreed to at least talk to her parents about it. Hammering out trade rights would take some time but it is not yet time to be desperate.

Also, she has to deal with The Duke of Weselton. Little man like him distaste Elsa and while trade with his country could be beneficial she does not trust people who would so obviously do anything for profit. This man in especial, he should be thankful that she simply wants him out of Arendelle. She did recognize his personal guards when they attempted to kill her. She could have him dance on her strings, under threat of announcing he ordered her murder, she knows she could, men like him are easy to manipulate. But she won't do that. She is better than that, better person than he is and she doubts she would have time to watch his hands anyway. She has no wish to constantly mind for assassination attempt. Or for Anna's, who knows with that man.

Elsa rolls her shoulders and sighs. She is tired, but she has created this catastrophe and she must be the one to resolve it. Who else will? Anna? She probably could manage if it wasn't for the scorn that foreigners show her. It fills Elsa with cold rage, how dare they mock her sister, She never did anything wrong, never hurt anyone, always full of joy... or-most of the time. Point is, She never wronged anyone, and yet people would look at her as if she was unworthy of their presence. Would either regard her with pity or distaste, her and her ever present stuffed bunny.

Yes, she talks to it. And to the trees she's told. And so what? Is it reason enough for people to shun her? Because she's different? Because she... hears o-or sees things? So cold.

She made a greatest mistake of her life when she shut Anna out. Never should have that happened. This, all this could have been avoided. Oh she kept tabs on her sister. Seclusion does not bother Elsa, it's actually become preferable by now. Simple touch feeling like an attack, caress, alike worms crawling under her skin. She can't contain her powers when someone touches her, not with these feelings. Not with her elevated heart rate, or dizziness, or breathlessness, or shivers.

Anna though, she's much more outgoing than herself. Always so excited to meet new people, so excited that she had to make them up when the castle gates were closed. It began roughly a year after that. Elsa had been reading a fairytale she remembers (she never touched that particular book afterwards) when she heard laughter, she moved to the window and there she was, her sister, participating in a snowball fight. With couple snowmen of her making, she's been making them for some time, quite magnificent they were, for a 6 year old. She asked Elsa to go out with her that day, as she did every day.

The battle was rather one sided obviously, not that it bothered her little sister, she laughed and laughed until Gerda came to usher her back into warmth. Elsa didn't think much of it back then, though it saddened her to see Her so alone as to play with snowmen of her own making. Neither of her parents thought much of it too, and they all should have. All this secrecy for the sake of Elsa? She was perfectly content to be alone, for happy she could not be. If that meant Anna would not be deprived of human contact she needed so much.

It amazes her that she grew up to be such a strong and confident woman. If a little... eccentric and awkward. She never did take up etiquette lessons and is a little uncouth but she makes up for it in excess with her cheer and charm.

But many people only see as far as her satchel.

It's sad to see how short sighted and uncaring people are. Well, some people. Rapunzel is delighted with her antics, even though she does recognize them for what they are. She just goes with it.

Knock, knock.

Hm?

"Elsa? Can I come in?" Anna.

"Of course." She moves back into her study and smiles at her sister when she closed the doors behind her.

"Erm, are you busy?"

"No, I've already finished for today" which is true, she has much to do but she has time "why?"

"Well, I, me and Snowflake actually, were wondering if you'd like to go and play with us, you know, in snow. Cause it's snowy outside and we know you like snow and you can- we can build a castle and do a snowball battle with Rapunzel and Eugene and Olaf and Kristoff- no. Wait, he's out of town now. But maybe Jack would join us too!" She gasps "We could even build a snowman!"

It takes Elsa only a second to nod and follow her sister. Snow is safe, no touching, her sister will be happy and she does like winter games after all.

She is tired, and so what?


	3. Chapter 3

She should really have expected this outcome. It was inevitable really, given who she is.

Such thoughts flied around in queen's mind as she covered in the ice fort she created for herself. It isn't that getting hit with snow bothers her any, because it doesn't. Cold never did, in physical sense anyway. In fact, she could roll in snow naked and she wouldn't feel much of a difference. She is The Ice Queen, she is not even sure if she ever had a cold.

And she can make snowballs out of thin air, that kind of advantage called for drastic measures on part of everyone else participating in their battle. She is not going to go easy on others just because they can't build themselves an ice fort on a whim. Or because her pace is that of four... magic-less people. Her snowballs are just perfect too, she cant cast them on them because that would be dangerous but she can create them directly in her hands. She enjoys using her power in ways that do not bring harm to others.

It was also fun to watch them scramble out of the way the hailstorm of Elsa's snowballs took direction.

They even brought a horse to play. Magnificent stallion too, Maximus being his name, she thinks. It was he that distracted her long enough when he was ramming the gate that allowed Anna, Rapunzel and Eugene (Olaf was there too but she is not sure where have the parts of him fallen) enough time to regroup and build themselves some measure of defense against Elsa.

Hah! Look at them all, frolicking in snow like children with no trouble in their life. What a ridiculous thing for royalty to do, she cares not. She doesn't feel tired any longer, she is in fact energized. Who knew that child games could do that, well, Elsa had forgotten, she must have known once, long ago.

It's nice to do things other than read books and...- for fun again. She might have went a bit over the top with this but really. They asked an ice sorceress to join them, what could they expect? And they are managing now anyways. Elsa minds not being hit with snow, but theirs is the wet kind, since they are using what's still left from her curse. She will have to change when they are finished as it is, but moisture bothers her. So no, she won't peek over the wall to see what are her foes up to. And up to no good they must be since they ceased their onslaught and must be cooking up a plan.

She is contemplating on creating an ice tunnel to get out from this siege and into another defensive position when something white and fluffy flies over her head and lands behind her. Elsa's eyes widen as her eyes land on Snowflake. The stuffed bunny lying innocently a meter from her or so.

She swallows uncomfortably.

Her sister has been carrying it around for years, she knows, she talked about him for days from behind the closed doors when she first got it. It was perfectly normal, at first, for a long time really. Anna was eight when she first said "We" when referring to herself. That day seared itself into Elsa's mind alike white hot iron would into skin. She remembers it perfectly.

"Elsa!" Three years passed and she comes to ask her sister to come out every day still. The older girl doesn't answer, as usual. But she listens, she always does.

"Elsa come on! It's beautiful out there. I know you like winter better but we can play hide and seek or hopscotch or we could paint if you like." Would it be so wrong if she allowed herself to do some drawings with Anna?

"Oh! Oh we could play statues too! We were trying to play but it doesn't really work with two people." What?

"I mean yeah we can but it's either he catches me cause you know it's hard to actually tap the watcher when you're the only one he has to catch. And he just plays too cautious! He barely moves!"

What?

Elsa asked the staff that day who is Anna hanging out with, no one, they told her. She was distressed as she was not since The Incident. She told their parents and they assured her it was nothing. But she asked her maid to tell her about her sister's doings ever since that day on.

Treating her toy as a living person was but a beginning. As years passed, there came talking to paintings, trees, thin air even. She often sang and danced, with or without Snowflake. She knows not which is scarier. She came by her room every day and it was getting worse. It was complete nonsense she told her sometimes. Like bees asking for help in building a snow castle in autumn.

It scared Elsa so much that she broke.

One day she answered with simple "Yes?" when Anna gave Her customary greeting.

Not much, just so that her sister knew she is listening. It didn't get worse after that point. She knows she should have allowed Her in, but by that time she was... not completely well either. Touch felt strange upon her skin, wrong. She got nervous when even standing close to anyone, dizzy, out of breath. And when that happened, she lost control of her power. All the more reason not to let anyone close to her.

One day their parents brought in... a man, that asked her how she felt when someone tried to touch her, stayed close to her, when did she begin avoiding people, the likes. Obviously she couldn't answer half of it,mom and dad agreed on that too. If word got out about her sorcery... So one day he just didn't come again.

Anna was supposed to talk to that man too. Twice she did, She told her.

She didn't fully understand what was that about until she turned sixteen. She pitied her parents and their fate, to have two daughters, both... inadequate. She's not into self pity but she felt worthless, all the trouble she had caused by her mere existence. Was it really worth it? Protecting her? Nobody told her that Anna's... antics were her fault but she knew it anyway.

All the harm she had caused Her. If she could take it all upon herself she would. She wants to take all her troubles away. But all she can do is be there for Her, not judge her, love her. Show it in what ways she can. Many of them she knows would be considered... inappropriate, but they won't happen, not before she is able to touch her without fear. Panic.

She's going to be there for Anna no matter what. So that she is not so terribly alone among wolves. Oh she saw the looks they threw Her way on the night of her coronation. Standing beside her awkwardly, holding to Snowflake for dear life. Excitement and nervousness clear on her face, full of hope that someone will take interest in her. Only Elsa did. It was also the day of her formal introduction to the stuffed bunny.

Awkward. But she managed, she got through the ceremony and under guise of not dancing was slowly getting through the ball. Things were going well, until Hans turned up. What an actor, he missed his calling. He had everyone fooled, Elsa refused her blessing for two reasons.

First is obvious, you don't marry someone you've just met.

Secondly... she was jealous. A petty reason perhaps, if it was only as a sister she was jelous. But she can acknowledge it at least to herself. Since she can't just announce to the world how much exactly does she love her sister. It took years to admit it to herself. Only so what? She can't even hold hands with Her.

It's not permanent, she tells herself as she stares at the toy. Apparently Anna though it a good idea to send her... friend over Elsa's defenses so that he may smoke her out of hiding. So she will do just that.

"I surrender!" She yells with hands over her head, she waits couple seconds and collapses the ice fort. She sees her sister grinning triumphantly at Eugene, and Rapunzel looking at Elsa, confusion painted her face. Maximus is off to the side, giving Snowflake a hard glare. She sees a carrot sticking out from a pile of snow, guess she found Olaf.

The trio approaches her and she can hear their words.

"See? I told you it'd work. It was like a sneak attack through sneak entrance. Without- actual entrance but details. The thing is, I knew he'd be up to it."

"Yeah I don't see how this, erm, friend of yours could beat your sister." Eugene, hm, so he has some tact.

"Oh he has his ways, but he can't tell. It's a secret."

"Of course, secret."

"Do I hear sarcasm in your voice? Rapunzel, do I hear sarcasm in his voice?"

"Maybe, he uses it a lot."

"Oh come on!"

As they close in, and Elsa sees her sister's flushed cheeks, she can't help but think how cute she looks like that, cheerful, carefree, normal.

"I'll admit I didn't expect Snowflake to just fly over my head, you took me by surprise."

"Oh don't be such a sour looser Elsa" chides Anna as she picks her rabbit up and tucks it into her bag "You did good, for a novice that is." She adds with mischievous smirk.

"Novice?"

"Well yeah, when was it you last had a snowball fight?" Elsa turns her eyes away "See? Novice." Her face is set in a smug expression.

Anna's statement is true enough for her not to have an argument ready. So she does what any person would do in such a situation to come out on the top.

Anna is not amused when she falls over, face full of snow.


	4. Chapter 4

The last of the snow melted at night. The world is depressive to look at, everything seemingly dead. Elsa wonders if the trees will grow their leaves back before natural winter comes. How does it even work, there was never before a sudden extremely frosty winter in the summer, how will no interlude in form of autumn impact her kingdom? Will it remain such a sad picture for years to come? That would be a gloomy sight.

She glances at Anna, who's lying head upside down on the couch in her study, her braids sprawled on the floor. She insisted on staying with her while Elsa will be working today, it has proven to be exceptionally distracting but the queen doesn't mind. It's preferable actually, to have something to take her mind off things. She needs that, not to think about the damage she has caused. She's doing that a lot. She stretches her hands and is about to go back to writing when Anna's voice interrupts her.

"What's wrong?"

What isn't?

Elsa keeps quiet for a moment, thinking on answer.

"You look tired, are you sleeping well?"

She is tired, mentally, of thinking about what she did, she wants to put it behind her but she really doesn't know if that's such a good idea. Remembering one's own mistakes and learning from them is good, she was told. To always remember, so that she never make them again. And no, she is not sleeping well, she has nightmares, often. Always did. Mostly involving Anna and herself hurting her, they often replayed in her mind, bizarre thing they are, so she knows what will happen each time she dreams them, it's calming in a not really healthy way. But there was this new one for the last couple of days, each night it was there.

Elsa takes pride in remembering her dreams, she can't control them as she would like to but they aren't so terrible anymore when nothing new happens in them. Though she does wonder if she should perhaps try this the other way around. Attempt never to recall any.

"I think I am, tired I mean. And I sleep as well as I always did." She doesn't expect her sister to drop the subject, nor would she really want her to.

"You should take some time off then, relax, live a little. You have much to catch up on, we have much to catch up on." That they do, their one sided conversations over the years weren't exactly a good way to understand the other. Elsa knew how Anna's day went, and vice versa (she herself only ever read, painted and wrote), that's it. They loved and to a degree knew each other but in some ways they were strangers. Sisters and no, at the same time.

"I don't think so, everywhere I look I see what I've done. I'm not exhausted, just tired." Anna huffs and changes her position to sit normally, then freezes, eyes far away, only to glance at her satchel after couple second. "Sis?" Says the queen.

"I'm sorry." The younger girl suddenly says. Now Elsa is worried.

"Huh? Whatever for?"

"It's my fault all this happened, I... shouldn't have pushed you back then, at the ball I mean. And you- well you were right. It wasn't love, it wasn't anything really. Just... He just... He didn't..." The younger girls' eyes water a bit when she says that, Elsa stands up and quickly moves to the side of her sister, setting herself down beside her. She feels itchy and nervous but she had much, much worse.

"Hush, it was me, not you" It was a fault of great many people, but not Anna's never hers. "I should have controlled myself better, it's just-"

"I hurt you, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Tears now threaten to fall from Her eyes. Elsa wants to just wipe them away, embrace and comfort her. But she can't. She just can't force herself to do it and she hates herself for it, her weakness, her lack of control. Instead she inches couple centimeters closer, air around her gets chilly but she doesn't radiate ice. Good, it's good, all is good.

"Listen, no, Anna, listen!" the princess looks up at her sister. "You said what you had to, what lied on your heart, it was I who wronged you, all the years with me behind the closed doors. I shouldn't have been hiding. No, look at me. I know it's not all my fault but it was never yours. So don't beat yourself up over it alright? Alright? Promise."

"Okay, I promise." She smiles through her tears and she looks so beautiful, despite red eyes, puffy nose and tears trailing down her flushed cheeks, or maybe because of it all, so vulnerable and trusting. "but you have to promise me too."

"What do you mean?"

"You said it yourself, everywhere you look you see signs of that, eee, little? Oh okay big mishap. It was an accident, you can't hold it against yourself. I mean sure, you did almost cause an eternal winter and ah, we will have to deal with a bit of trouble" a bit? "and this year will be rough and all that stuff but look at it this way, it could have been so much worse! Like- like Hans and me could actually marry in spite of you if you hadn't kind of seriously lost it and froze the kingdom like a, like a... Well, froze it. And he would murder you, he said it you know? Bastard. And no one would know! So yeah! I think it came out dandy! And we've met Kristoff and Olaf and Sven, and you don't hide your powers anymore and we can be together like we used to be and we can have snow fights and Snowflake always wanted to meet you and-"

"Alright, alright! I believe you , I will stop I promise." She intends to. Her sister is right, she did skip couple important points but overall? It could end much worse. Anna could be dead, Elsa herself could be dead, Hans as a ruler of Arendelle? Just no. And her sister is right, she no longer hides and they can be together, she gained some amount of control over her powers. And they will get through the hard times ahead, somehow.

It seems that spilling your heart's content to someone does help to put mind at ease. Huh, she mostly thought it rubbish when she read about it. Maybe...

"I sleep as I usually do. I usually have nightmares. Always, actually."

"Oh Elsa..."

"They don't bother me honestly, I just sleep a bit longer to rest, but lately, there is a new one, because they repeat over and over again. So I'm used to them by now. And this new one is... about you. When you were cursed into that... ice statue. And you don't change back. And I call you, cry, beg mostly but nothing happens, you just... stand there, forever. And- a-and everyone freezes to death too. It's just me, alone, with a statue of you." Elsa's chest constricts painfully.

"But I'm here, see? The curse is gone and everything will be alright. There is no need to worry. You won't hurt me, I know it." Anna shifts a bit, she evidently wants to hug her sister but also knows of distress it would cause her.

"But what if I-"

"No buts, I love you, and you love me. Remember, you can't hurt me if you tried, because you don't want to." Except for if it were to be an accident, Elsa thinks despondently.

And yet she makes it sound so easy. Her sister trusts her way more than she dares to trust herself. Elsa stands up and moves to her desk to pick up her gloves. Then sits back beside her sister, a bit further away for she is not sure if she could do what she has in mind were they to sit but centimeters apart. Anna keeps looking at her in confusion.

"Do you- would you want to... hold hands?" Anna looks as if stricken but immediately perks up and joyfully squeals in excitement.

"Yes! Yes I'd love to! You don't ever have to ask!"

Elsa enquired mostly for herself but she intends to keep it close to her chest. She puts on her gloves and timidly speaks up.

"I'm sorry it's like that but-" She feels safer with them on.

"No! No it's fine, it's great!" She puts her hand down on the sofa and gives her an expectant look.

Elsa obliges and slowly, lightly, puts her fingers atop of Anna's hand. Her heart is beating madly and she is not sure if it's of excitement or fear. Both most likely. Her mouth goes dry and she feels her fingers itch. Her breath is uneven and honestly, she wants to bolt away.

But she wishes to show her sister that she loves her even more.

It's not nice. It's not even halfway neutral, she feels terrified and like she is slowly loosing herself but she won't have it. Get over yourself! It's Anna, you love her, focus on it, love, just love. She suddenly feels a shift under her hand and realizes that her vision has gone dark for a moment. She's shaking and panting. She's not holding her sister's hand anymore, she notices. The younger girl pulled it away.

Anna is smiling sadly. Elsa sniffs.

"I'm sorry." She whispers.

"It's alright, I love you."

* * *

...This is what happens when I try to write something heartwarming.


	5. Chapter 5

Anna walks briskly through the city's streets, or runs, it depends on the point of view really. She is rather lively girl after all and it seems for her that the world moves at too slow of a pace. Maybe that's because they want to experience things more fully? But they don't seem to give their undivided to anything much at all! Are they are happy with what they have? Do they not want to feel more, experience more? Or maybe it's just her, and the fact that the world is quite a novel place for her. The castle is nice, of course but not too lively a place.

It figures that everything just went and mucked itself up on the day they were supposed to go outside and see the wonders of the world. She kind of wanted to take a trip to the forest and gather blueberries a day after coronation. Oh well, that's what you get for making such far-reaching plans. They rarely work as you want them to, why bother? Hmm, some things? Sure, in a few instances they are good to have, like the harvest. Anna sees importance of that, then again. Elsa happened. And it all went down the drain anyway. Maybe that is why people look so... busy. They must make sure their families are fed, safe. Or are they making plans for the winter? Her sister is.

She tries to help the older sibling in what ways she can but she's not the best there is for administrating... well, anything. She does her duties as they come, reports, math, trade deals, balls and other royal duties? Of course she could manage, she's a princess! But she considers it all dreadfully boring, she thought balls were entertaining, once, before she participated in one. The stories always made them sound so interesting. That is probably the point she supposes, the real thing? Not even close to be fun.

But come on Anna, that was just one of many you will attend, the others may be more interesting. And less of a viper nests. It can't possibly be that everyone there is either a deceitful snake or a not-so-sneaky-as-they-think-they-are-would-be-murderers. There is Rapunzel! See? It's not all bad. Eugene was a thief and has this roguish attitude of his that makes him fun too. So that's... two people (because Hans doesn't count) that were any kind of fun at all. Pity she got to know them only after the whole affair, or maybe better? The islander prince was up to no good so she exposed him at least... unintentionally... but still! So it was good, her first party ever and while on it's own it would not score too high on her fun list, what followed was the greatest experience of her life!

Never minding the fact they got frozen into the statue, almost got killed by that mean mean ice thing that her sister made, almost got her sister killed and ruined her blueberries hunt. It was great. The aftermath is a pain but nothing they can't handle. They have made friends with Kristoff, Olaf and Sven, and the trolls too, what a lively bunch they are. And the most important of all, Elsa isn't hiding anymore! So yes, some hiccups along the way but overall a wonderful adventure.

She slows down her walk (run) as she approaches the port, she is, eh, was really (given how she is now late), to meet her sister and bid foreign guests their farewells. Like this weasel fellow. She is a bit sad that her new friends must leave already but no other place like home right? And they have their duties too, besides, they will meet again, their kingdoms are only a sea away and will likely be signing some kind of agreement of free trade or something according to Rapunzel. Anna doesn't like letters, she can't write as fast as she thinks and forget what she wanted to write before ever beginning next sentence.

So for a time it will be only her, Elsa, Snowflake, Olaf and Jack in the castle. Maybe not Jack, he comes and goes as he pleases. Kristoff will be coming back tomorrow, he had to check his house and what's left of his ice business. Which reminds her, they must buy him a new sleigh. They promised him as much when they broke his old one. It has to be nice too, he helped them three so much. Hey is that Hans being pushed forward by two guards? nice cuffs, they suit the bastard.

Ah, there is Elsa. And Rapunzel with Eugene too. Where is the rest, oh. She just missed them it seems, their ships are now sailing out of the bay. No big loss, they didn't seem to like them much, giving them both weird looks, especially Snowflake. It's like they haven't seen a talking bunny before. Strange, they are everywhere after all.

Elsa rolls her eyes when she finally arrives as she was meant to do twenty minutes ago. Anna has no idea how does her sister manage to make the gesture look so dignified. A good word to describe her for sure. Always graceful, always beautiful. Even her new hairstyle makes her look more so instead of messy. How does she even do it? She bets that if she barged into her sibling's room in the middle of the night her hair would look better than her own after brushing and braiding and everything. Oh! It could be magic, she's a sorceress after all. Huh.

"Hi Elsa, are you using magic to manage your hair?"

Instead of answering she just puts her gloved hand to her mouth and snickers behind it. Corona princess seems to be a little thrown off, her husband just rises his brows. What, what did she do?

"Why hello to you too, nice to see you finally showed up. And no, I'm not using magic for that. What took you so long?"

"Erm" The younger girl feels her cheeks are heating up "We kind of got distracted by Jack, we swear we didn't mean to though, just lost the sense of time, sorry for that." She says as she picks her friend out of her satchel and presses him to her chest.

"Yeah, not our fault really, that little menace got Anna chase after him when he stole her hairbrush, and she only got up, couldn't have her look like a mess could we?" Snowflake says resourcefully.

"Eh, you would be bored out of your mind anyway, I swear it's like they got a stick up their-"

"Eugene! Language, please, mom gets antsy when you speak like that and you always forget." scoffs him Rapunzel "What he meant to say is that you missed nothing important, we're still here after all, waiting for you. Didn't want to leave without a proper goodbye now did we?"

"Not a chance."

"Really? Oh it's so nice of you!" She launches herself at them both and hugs each of them, kind of hard to do with one arm but she manages.

"It was so, they wished to stay for as long as it took you to arrive." Elsa says whilst looking a bit gloomy. She probably wants to join them but can't. Poor Elsa, all these years in isolation took it's tool on her. She never told Anna but the younger girl knows nonetheless that touch is an unpleasant thing for her. Snowflake pointed it out too, even anyone's close proximity makes her nervous. She does seem to have higher tolerance for her sister but that's not saying much. If what happened the other day is to be any clue. It saddens the younger of siblings, it saddens the older too, she can tell. They both want to be close to each other, be what they used to be. She wanted so badly to just cuddle with Elsa when she was quaking in fear, an unseeing look in her eyes. But all she could do was to move away and try to console her with words.

"Yes, really. It was nice to meet you. And be sure that we'll meet again." Rapunzel smiles. "But for now we have to sail home, the news about what happened here will reach my parents soon and worry about the most silly things."

"Of course, goodbye Rapunzel, Eugene."

"See you!" Adds Snowflake.

"Queen Elsa." They both say as one bows and the second curtseys. After that they move to their ship. Anna waves at them until they sail far away enough not to see their faces.

She hears footsteps behind her only a moment before Hans shoves her side, causing her to let go of the bunny. Her eyes widen and for couple seconds she freezes in place, mind blank. Snowflake can't swim, he always drowned like a rock. Only after the initial shock does she hear his sputtering as he quickly disappears beneath the water. It's more reaction than any conscious thought that makes her dive after her best friend.

The water is still cold, hadn't had time to warm up yet. But it's of no consequence, Snowflake will drown if she can't catch him quickly, he's small enough not to be noticed if he were to sink deep enough. She can't let that happen, she won't!

Her vision is blurry as she frantically looks around, she knows how to swim, somewhat. She was taught when she was four. She catches sight of a white shape falling lower and lower, but a couple meters away from her. But her moves are sluggish and unpracticed, her dress not helping matters, heavy with water. Never mind that, she can do it. She only has these couple meter to go.

And although she moves closer indeed, they are both diving deeper and deeper, for the stuffed toy never stops it's fall.

Anna's lungs are burning, ears hurt under pressure and her mind is foggy as she finally catches her now unmoving friend. She loads him under her vest and looks around in panic, not knowing in which direction the surface is. Disoriented and slowly suffocating she takes direction in what seems to be the surface, her moves are becoming clumsier and slower. Ultimately, she can't take it anymore and cold water flows through her mouth as they open in desperate attempt to take a breath that is not there.

She doesn't feel cold anymore as she slowly stops moving and her mind goes dark.

* * *

...I had no idea this would happen when I began this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

Elsa has a cool head, it's the only thing stopping her from immediately jumping after her sister. No, instead she shouts for a guard to get out of his armour and fish her sister out. She hasn't swam in thirteen years but that's beside the point. The heart of the matter is that she radiates cold when stressed, and right now she definitely feels is, she would encase herself in ice the moment she touched water. She most likely couldn't get Anna out of this by herself anyway, she can't swim well enough for that. She would give her life up if it meant saving Anna but she knows she would fail here.

So she stands on the gangplank, intently watching the water, all the while feeling her self control wearing out, when someone finally dives into the bay's waters. And then another. Dockworker, sailor maybe. She hears snickering to her side and sharply glares at the islander kneeling beside halfway undressed guard. Cold rage fills her and she says to his escort.

"Stop. You have a criminal to handle."

"Yes my queen." He stops unbuckling his cuirass and grabs the prince by his collar to hold him in place.

"Know this, if my sister suffers because of this, you will face consequences." She addresses Hans, who looks positively taken aback.

"I've done nothing, she threw herself off the-"

"You've assaulted the princess, heir to the throne of Arendelle. In addition to attempted murder. Silence yourself or I will." She spits out. She has morbid thoughts sometimes, like what would happen were she to freeze someone's tongue, bad thoughts, oh so tempting to entertain now.

The prisoner is not an idiot, deceitful and ruthless? Yes, in addition to being intelligent, so he keeps quiet after being given command to do so. For which Elsa is thankful, to the world, not him. She turns back to watch the water, crosses hands and waits, and waits. She sees someone emerging from the depths and her heartbeat quickens in anticipation. But it is not Anna who arrives above water, just one of the men who jumped after her. More people arrive to see what's the commotion about, Elsa begins her breathing exercise when she notices that poles reaching into the water are freezing underneath her feet and it's snowing around her. It isn't really working right now so she starts pacing. It never really helps either but it's better than just standing and doing nothing.

The two divers emerge again, without her sister. Elsa is slowly beginning to panic and she bites at her knuckle, hard, as to clear her mind. Keep it together Elsa, if you freeze the water (again) then it will be you who killed Her, them.

And she can't go on without Her. They were only truly reunited a week ago and Elsa knows full well that without her sibling she will certainly loose her mind. It would be the sickest joke that world ever played on her if Anna was to just drown. She shut herself away from the world for her, she broke her promise to their parents to avoid Anna for her. Yes she does love Arendelle and its people but it is not them that she lives for. All Elsa really has is her sister and her love, never wavering, forever there, no matter what. All she wants is to be able to show that she loves Anna as well, damn the consequences and damn her own useless, accursed body for refusing her wish.

She wonders sometimes if her... jumpiness along with her powers are some sort of divine punishment for her feelings, as to never be able to touch who she loves. But if Anna was to be hurt because of that...

It is when the two men come back for the third time that they surface with Anna in their arms. Pale Anna, pale from cold and not breathing. She hears murmur from the crowd but pays it no notice. Her whole world existing only around the unmoving figure in the water, painfully slowly coming towards the bridge, her mind blank as an empty page. She is rudely broken out of her trance when she feels a hand on her shoulder and instinctively bolts away from it. She gives a questioning stare to the guard who did it.

"Excuse me for saying so Your Majesty but maybe it would be for the best if you move away from the princess." Elsa continues to look at him blankly and finally takes notice of his shivering, along with frost now covering her surroundings. Her mind catches on to what the man said and against herself gives a small nod. The guard is up for a promotion, respectful and audacious enough to point out she needs to stay clear of the situation lest she worsens it, good man. She really needs to stay away until she calms down as to not sap whatever warmth left in Anna's body out from it.

She hates it. She knows it must be so but she absolutely loathes it. She clenches her fists and dejectedly takes couple steps away. She tries to give herself an estimate of how long has She been under water and reassures herself that yes, it was in fact too short to drown. Unless Anna can't hold hear breath for at least two minutes, then her time underwater would be dangerously close to cause lasting damage. Elsa knows she can though, she bragged about it often enough, making a game of who can hold air in longer, herself or Snowflake. She always lost.

The queen watches on as the sailor/worker place her sister on planks and check for her life signs then proceeds with a heart massage. The near silence is eerie, it reminds her too much of a certain event only couple days back. Bad thoughts, better leave them behind. Most people in the bay seem to think their princess dead, sobbing quietly, not understanding the strange procedure that is being performed on her. Elsa feels she is going crazy by doing nothing, she has to do something, anything or she will loose it again. Something to help.

If she keeps her attention on Anna she will cause a blizzard at the very least.

"Get a medic from the castle as fast as you can, double time!" She addresses the soon to be promoted guard. A level headed messenger is who she needs right now.

"Yes my queen." He acknowledges his orders and then runs off.

"You" She turns to the one who is holding Hans down "get him back to his cell and get someone to clear the way for royal medic, if the crowd tries to lynch your prisoner, don't risk your health for him."

"You can't!" and "Yes my queen." She heard them say simultaneously. Along with a cough.

A cough.

She sharply turns around to see Anna trying to empty her lungs out of everything inside, including themselves if the sound is anything to go by. Elsa can physically feel relief flooding her chest, along with heaviness overtaking her body, as if she just ran a mile. She doesn't indulge though, there are things to do.

"Would someone get her something dry to wear, and clear the bridge, she needs some space." She addresses the crowd (which seems to be both in awe and filled with relief), what did the book say? Well what does the common sense say? Get rid of soaked clothes, get her warm and pass the rest to the doctor. He will know what to do.

She approaches her exhausted sister and kneels beside her, she briefly wonders how do other people act in situations like this, hug? She gives her thanks to Anna's rescuers and focuses on the younger girl. A guard is helping her sit, looking vaguely uncomfortable with his role.

"Anna? How do you feel?"

"C-cold, dizzy... where's... Snowflake?" she's having problems with breathing, still coughing in between words. And where is that damned bunny anyway? Ah, there, an ear and an arm sticking out from under the girl's vest. Elsa yanks it out and presents the blasted toy to her sister.

"Okay... good. Sorry for... that, I'm not feeling... too well. Can you carry him... for now?"

"Of course, don't worry. But Anna, we have to get you changed into something dry okay?"

She is given a unintelligible muttering as an answer. Elsa hopes it's just drowsiness, not a sign of yet another disaster in waiting.

"Come on Anna, it's for your own good. Or do you want to be confined to bed when you catch a fever?" She will be ill anyway but she doesn't know that, yet.

"Okay." Anna responds weakly. A woman approaches them with a blanket and a dress in her hands. Elsa forcibly smiles at her as she stands up and gives her thanks along with promise of paying her back as she takes said items from her. She looks around and motions to the ship that was supposed to ship Hans to the Southern Isles.

"Alright, help her up." She waits to see if Anna can stand on her own, she only kind of does. "Help her get on the deck, she needs some privacy." She goes first, carrying clothes and leading the way. The captain of the ship vacates his cabin when he sees Elsa and soaked, trembling princess.

"That's it for now, get out and wait for the medic to arrive, lead him here." She orders the guard when he led Anna to the bed. She then puts the bundle and Snowflake which she holds in her arms on the bunk and turns to her sister, hearing the doors being closed behind the leaving man.

"Go on, we have to get you changed. turn around." She does without a word and Elsa forces herself to unlace Anna's vest, she ignores the prickling sensation in her fingers and reins in her breathing. Now is not the time, think of nothing, you've done this a thousand times for yourself, just act, don't think.

Should she stress over her own sensations she would just freeze the dress solid. Something she wants to avoid.

"Anna-" She starts as she took the vest away from the girl's arms "don't ever scare me like that again, please."

"I had to, I couldn't just let him drown, I- I can't- I..." She goes into another coughing fit. Never finishing what she meant to say, maybe she didn't mean to say anything.

Elsa only waits for her to stop and then continues to unlace Anna's dress. Her cheeks go pink when it slides down from her body and she sees the younger girl nearly completely exposed. She averts her eyes and picks up the fallen clothing, only now noticing that Anna has lost her shoes, in bay's waters most likely. She puts the dress on a nearby chair and feels her heart flutter when she sets eyes on her sister. Her exposed skin is colored pink, slowly regaining it's usual color. Her wet hair unruly sticking out from her braids. Her underthings transparent in their water ruined state. Her face delightfully red as she bashfully averts her eyes whilst trying to cover herself with her arms, not really doing great job of it. For the first time in forever the blonde feels her face literally burning.

Elsa knows she is staring, Anna does too. The older sibling gulps feeling decidedly awkward.

"Um, I- uh, maybe, maybe I should just... let you finish by yourself." She says as she makes for a hasty retreat from the cabin. She's not sure she's supposed to leave her but she knows she has to before this becomes just embarrassing for them both. She hides her red face in her hands, trying to cool it as she leans on the railing, waiting for medic's arrival. He is making his way through the port, along with couple assistants at this very moment.

She sighs heavily, feeling calmer now that he's here. Anna is safe now, everything is going to be okay now. He will take care of her... why is she suddenly feeling so very tired?

Her legs give out as she finally succumbs to exhaustion.

* * *

This was hell to write. Just so you guys know.


End file.
